Going through a divorce is hard on the whole family, but when you have custody disputes, it can make things even more difficult for your children. It is never a good idea to put them in the middle and lay adult problems on them, but they will likely ask questions. So, how do you talk to your kids about custody issues?
The North Carolina Judicial Branch explains that you should be open to their questions and honest about what is happening as far as working with the other parent to reach a parenting agreement. It is important to let them know that this is something between you and the other parent. They are not at fault and should not worry about anything. They will still get to see both you and the other parent.
Picking a side
One of the worst things you can do is make your child feel like he or she should choose a side in the custody situation. Your child should be neutral. You should make sure he or she knows it is fine to talk to and want to spend time with the other parent. You should never involve them in the negotiations or the discussions about custody matters regardless of their ages.
If your child wants to express him or herself, consider setting up family counseling as a way for him or her to talk about what he or she is thinking and feeling.
Information sharing
You should not overshare with your child about what is happening during custody discussions. You can answer questions, but keeping responses vague is usually the best idea.